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livelearnlove

by Stay Wild

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1.
I can't just pretend it doesn't happen. I have seen privileges that come with my skin, sex and preferences. It wasn't until I saw the world from another point of view that I realized, I've only ever walked in my own shoes. Instances made eternal since our past has always preserved them. Crushing hierarchies that I thought were so distant were right under my nose. Upon my fingertips. I can't just ignore it again, and again, and again I can't just pretend it doesn't happen. Time and again, we perpetuates this image of a farce utopia. With my blood came a shadow of blessings. It follows me everywhere I go and though I try comprehend the struggle of others, I'll never fully know. That shadow's clear as day to those who don't have it, and so I'll try my best not to take it for granted. If you can't acknowledge it, you must be too spoiled too see, like me. Among the powers that be who watch idly as it takes place again, and again, and again, you just pretend it doesn't fucking happen. My pain is plain, tame, fake. I don't understand, I can't understand. It's my duty to take these steps in my life and try to live alongside the rest of the world. Until that light is cast upon everyone, I'll be submerged in darkness.
2.
Iconoclast 04:51
I could rebuild the human skeleton with all the bones I gotta pick. The cost of you to listen? The loss of passion that makes you so sick. You wanna feel what I feel. (Just keep your composure) You want to see what I see. (Just keep it familiar.) I'm done catering to those who'd don't want to see my dialect reflect my discontent. Those who don't want to see me disrespect their expectation of who they think I should be. Fuck the cost of winning sides, I'm here to spill these guts. Anger may roll the dice, but I'll try my luck. I'm so sorry for the lack of an apology, but I ain't the mild-mannered rebel you wish I'd be. I could choose my words wisely to not feel so toe to toe, but I ain't no politician. (I don't need your vote) You want to feel what I feel, you want to see what I see, but let's be real, there's no open ear for the real me. I hope the seed stays planted when you write me off and forget it. We're discontent and you expect to us to keep it together when you write us off as bleeding hearts, just culture scars. You are the reason I scream. Fuck the cost of winning sides, I'm here to spill these guts. Anger may roll the dice, but I'll try my luck. Your appraisal ain't no lottery, just a quick buck. You may think less of me, expected better of me, you may think that you're better than me, but... If I had a dime for every time I felt my dignity roll over in it's grave every time I rolled over for you just to save face...you get the point. Whispered voices often go unheard, that's why we can't stop screaming. I'm still searching for that operative word that helps it sound like singing. But until then... I'm not your perfect poster boy, non-confrontational with a soft voice. I'm not you're fucking poster boy. I'm the hail of outrage you can't avoid. Aren't we all just culture scars? Aren't we all just... Praying for winds of change, to carry these flames of passion forth? If you think we're dust in the breeze, we'll show you a sandstorm. You're fishing for someone to relate. (I'd rather be the hook than be the bait) I am everything you fear, so allow me to make this clear: I'm not your fucking perfect poster boy.
3.
Choke hold on my sympathy, can't pull away. I give in every day, and there is nothing that you could say to make this hopelessness ever go away. I've got no answers but it doesn't stand in my way. I'll wear my heart on my sleeve, drench myself in red. To live a life dry would bare no purpose. I want to mend a world that no amount of money can fix, but still, I'd rather give my two cents than be worthless. I have discovered hope in cynicism and it is an acquired taste. Uncertainty dwells in my optimism but odds should never slow your pace. Never slow your pace. If emotions could break voices, then motions could move mountains. If water is but essence, then why do we choke on the oceans? (try to stay up) Volume can speak a great deal, (try to stay cool) but quality has the bullhorn. Try to bleed from your heart, try to be foolhardy. My spirit's are high even when I rise before the sun. I got 99 problems and lose sleep over every single one. Heart over head. Head over heels for the love of trial 'cause the heartache... Heart over head. Head over heels for the love of trial 'cause the heartache is real
4.
Despite strength and state of mind, I can never change the wind. That's how it feels on a daily basis, never good enough, will never win. If I knew where I was headed, how simple it would all be, But it’s a constant battle of controlling my life and life changing me. My efforts bear no fruit and I'm fucking starving for something that validates my being. But if you're like me... You never know who you can become until you get out and brave the storms. Trust me I know, when it rains, it pours, it's a god damn hurricane. But once it passes, you will be changed. And you may still feel the same, but at least you'll know you have the power to endure whatever comes your way. Design. Define. I don't know what time holds. (with every tick I tock) Clocks are always ahead of me (with every tock I tick) I can never catch up and it makes me sick, but it makes me think that I'll be okay. (with every tick, I'll tock) This is all temporary. (with every tock, I'll tick) Resilient and eager for what life brings, I'll design, I'll define. I'll design, I'll define me. I believe it is me who sets the narrative, I believe it is me who sets the limits. And still that wind, it is blowing, unaffected. I'll brace my stride and continue against it. When I step out of my front door, I take part in my present and future. Nothing is foretold, destiny is waiting for for your hands to unfold her. We are nothing but the choices we make. We are nothing but the chances we take. You are nothing if view yourself that way. Are you a victim of circumstance or champion of fate?
5.
Blossom 05:45
Out of the closet and into our hearts. Out of the darkness and into embracing arms. Lack of understanding leads many to contempt. Out of naivete, wasted time is spent. Don't you wish it was so easy to choose the fairy tale? I've often felt alone too. I can't imagine what you're going through. This social obscurity is a life you don't choose. It chooses you and tells you when to love and who. The pain inside may feel like a curse, but don't let words become your hearse. You've shown strength at every turn. Please dry your tears, ‘cause love shouldn't hurt. These words of mine don't feel like enough. Some feel the weight of judgment, some are crushed. In a garden of dead soil, we must nourish one another. We must live, learn, love. Live, learn, understand that love is love. To those who can't comprehend, stop trying, just extend a hand. Some see a rose, some see the thorn, but we must all blossom as we were born. Will you wilt? Will you grow? Blossom. Submerge yourself in love. Blossom. You want out of the darkness, but it surrounds you. You see these bright faces with nothing to prove and want nothing more than to feel like you shine too. This eclipse has shunned you from light for so long, you fear that there is no sun. There is. Just keep your head up and know that we would be proud to call you our sisters, our brothers, our daughters, our sons.

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released June 24, 2016

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Panic State Records New Brunswick, New Jersey

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